The first shade of green lawn always looks the freshest. It’s almost unreal and I like walking around barefooted in the morning outside the back door while the sun greets the day. The smoke from my cigarette rises in bright white swirls in the cool air. It’s my alone time, pre-morning chaos. Soon everyone will be up wanting something. Coffee for Steve, breakfast for everyone, lunches for later. Last minute requests are suddenly urgent – papers that need to be signed, clothing that doesn’t fit right, lost ball caps. I am useful in the morning.
Just as quickly, everyone is off with a quick kiss and my work day begins. Spring means extra work with windows, doors, walls, and everything that needs a thorough cleaning. Clothes need to be changed out for warmer weather and shopping lists need to be created for summer clothing. I love my job. Caring for others is very gratifying. But sometimes, I dream of more. I know more is dangerous for some people, but just a little more at a time would be helpful.
Since Edie shared her writing secret with me, I have had a nagging feeling about my sporadic journaling. Sharing my rambling thoughts on my little world is much smaller than what Edie has created. She managed to develop a whole world. Maybe that’s the key. If you make it up, it can be as big as you dream.
Edie and I had a nice talk after she showed me her office. Artie thought the writing was okay as long as Edie didn’t spend a lot of time doing it while he was home. I was a little jealous of her and told her so but she reminded me about her lack of babies to care for and I understood better. We all judge each other’s lives against are own. But no one ever will agree to swap lives. We hold on to our own little issues because they belong to us. Maybe I could spend a few minutes today writing these thoughts down. I don’t want to forget them since they might be the secret to more ideas. But first, it’s time to tackle the baseboards!